10 Ways NOT To Sell A Home In A Buyer’s Market

Hi All,

A while back I published a list of 10 ways not to buy a home in a buyer’s market. But I realized that ignored all you potential seller’s out there, so I decided it was only fair to “help” you folks as well.

Here are the 10 best ways I know of NOT to sell a home in a buyer’s market.

10. Over price your home.

You know how the game is played. You know that your home is special. And you don’t care what the market shows you.

You are going to list your home for as much as you can possibly get.

You don’t mind missing out on 70% of all the buyer’s that are capable, qualified and interested in finding a house just like yours, but won’t even look at it because it is overpriced for the market and/or condition.

9. Refuse to allow your agent to use a Suprakey or any other type of keysafe to make your home easy to show.

In a market where there are more choices available than there have been for years, making your house difficult, if not impossible to show will let those buyer’s who’s boss. They can’t run your life.

8. Set your sales price and hold fast no matter what.

Pay no attention to the months your home has been on the market, how much the market has shifted or that this is the only offer you have received. You are not a pushover.

Qualified, schmallified, who cares if the offer is reasonable and market appropriate. Your cousin’s uncle’s brother’s best friend sold a house just like yours two years ago one day after the sign went up for what you are asking.

Besides you’re willing to trade that minimal discount for the complete loss of the sale right?

7. Ask for competent professional advice about how your home looks and what needs to be done to make it more marketable and then refuse to take any of it.

How dare they insult your taste! Don’t consider slapping a coat of paint on the walls or even shampooing the carpets. And don’t start packing up any unnecessary items, it’s not like you are getting ready to move or anything. Besides, you love Uncle Cletus’ stuffed Armadillo collection so everyone else should.

6. Pay no attention to deadlines.

Deadlines, you don’t need no stinkin’ deadlines. You own the house. You have the power. You are in control and those silly little pieces of paper can’t tell you what to do.

5. Be difficult if not impossible to work with.

Be rude to everyone. Your agent is being well paid to take whatever you dish out. Behaving in a polite and civilized manner is for sissies. Oh, and if you can also insult the other agent, the buyer, their families and their mothers that would be a bonus.

4. Refuse to make any repairs even simple ones.

You’re not fixing anything! You’ve lived with these things why can’t they? Who do these buyer’s think they are anyway? Besides it makes much more sense to give them a credit for hundreds if not thousands of dollars than it does to fix things yourself or have them fixed for far less money.

3. Don’t tell them “everything” about the house.

Disclosures are not that important. So what if the roof leaks or if the house has slipped from it’s foundation. These things happen and if it doesn’t show, what’s it going to hurt? You’re outta here. It’s not your problem anymore anyway. OK, so it’s illegal, it’s not like it is a “real crime”. It’s just “white collar” stuff and nobody ever gets sued or goes to jail for that, just ask Martha Stewart. Besides, those laws are just guidelines more than anything else.

2. Decide to list your home with a limited service broker or a pay even if you don’t sell company.

Sure there are tens of thousands of homes on the market and in some areas more than a years worth of inventory available. So it might take months to sell your home, if your home sells at all. Hiring a company where you are required to pay them a flat fee for service before you sell your home, or whether your home sells or not makes great sense.

And you don’t need all those “extras” like inclusion in the Multiple Listing Service, a virtual tour, a listing on Realtor.com, coverage by errors and omissions insurance in case something goes wrong or an open house now do you?

1. Decide to go it alone and not to hire a REALTOR®.

You don’t need someone who has all the experience, knowledge and resources at their disposal to make this transaction easier. You can do this by yourself, after all, if selling real estate was hard it would take special training, countless hours of study, ongoing continued education, a criminal background check and a very difficult State administered test to do this job… right?

As with the first piece, these tips were presented all in fun. Because even though I know real estate is serious stuff, I think a good sense of humor is a terrible thing to waste.

So when you are ready to sell your home, give me a call. I’ll take it seriously, but I’ll keep it fun.

Take care all, help lots of people and have a wonderful day!